In The Absence Of You
by dstarlight
Summary: When tragedy strikes Lucas Scott returns to the place where it all began, only to find that everything and everyone has changed. Most of all his Pretty Girl.
1. Prologue

**A/N** This is my first foray into OTH fanfiction, so please be kind, lol. I am a Brucas fan all the way so that will be the main ship, although it will take some time to get there. I have to correct a few things first ;) Of course there's a bit of Naley thrown in. This is just the Prologue so the upcoming chapters will be longer. I'm still feeling my way through the fandom so all criticism is welcome...

**Disclaimer:** Just borrowing, One Tree Hill and it's characters belong to Mark Schwahn.

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><p><strong>Prologue <strong>

"Brooke."

"Don't."

Observing his friend for a few more moments Nathan resigned himself to the certainty that Brooke Baker couldn't be reached at this point. Her walls were up and no one, not even God himself was getting through there. It pained him more than he could say to watch his friend shutting down before his eyes. Closing herself off to everyone who wanted to reach out and help. He'd only seen this happen once before. He can still recall the day as if it were yesterday. A day that had broken friendships, fortified others and changed the shape of everything he knew to be true. It had led him here. It had led Brooke here. Shaking himself from age-old memories Nathan turned and made his way up the grassy embankment. A bittersweet smile tugged at his lips as he locked eyes with his wife. He had vague memories of the last time he was here. _He really hated this place. _He hated that once again their lives were being torn apart.

When were they going to catch a break?

"She's not coming up?"

Shaking his head at the question Nathan surveyed the area around him, his eyes straying once more to the brunette a few yards away.

_No doubt about it, the next few months were gonna be hell. _

"Where are the Davis and Jude?"

Haley sighed, the strain of the last few days evident. The dark circles beneath her eyes told of the sleepless night and long bouts of crying. Even with this, she still looked beautiful to him. His heart actually ached at the thought of not being with her, of it being him in Brooke's place today. He didn't want to think about it, but the thoughts came anyway.

"Quinn and Clay took them back to the house."

"They should be with her, Hales."

Huffing in irritation Haley began to head towards the car. "Don't you think I know that, Nathan. Don't you think Brooke knows that."

Knowing that Haley was running out of steam Nathan shot one last glance at Brooke before following his wife. A few strides were all it took to catch up and the cemetery was silent as they made their way to the entry gates.

Stopping Haley took a breath, her eyes meeting his. He loved the colour of her eyes, but he hated the dullness that encompassed them now. It was just another reminder of how screwed up everything was. They were all hurting, every single one of them. The group was trying to find ground in a place that no longer had any.

"Right now all Brooke is trying to do is breathe."

Nathan knew Haley was right. Had watched his wife battle through the same thing after her mother died. He'd almost lost her then. _Would they loose Brooke the same way?_ Shaking his head, he pulled her towards him, letting out a sigh of relief when her arms wrapped around him. He'd always loved the way she fit against him. Clinging to each other, they simply stood there. Their thoughts filled with Brooke. There was only one question on their minds. What were they going to do now?

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><p><em><span>Preview of Chapter One<span>_

_"They're not even here, Haley!"_

_Glaring at Nathan Haley slammed the plates down. She didn't need this right now; she didn't want to hear the truth in his words. And God knows Brooke didn't need to hear….or Jamie._

_"Don't start." It was a warning; one Nathan should have listened to. But his anger over the situation had reached its limit. He was pissed off and tired of hiding it._

_"After everything she's done for them. Everything."_

_Haley bit back the urge to defend them, to come to their aid as she'd done so many times this past week. But even her will was running out of excuses, her mind was stumbling around the facts. Karen was here, her presence a blessing to everyone around her. However, it was also a harsh reminder of those who were blatantly absent. There were no excuses. None at all.…... _

_"I know."_


	2. Chapter One

**A/N **Sorry for the long delay, I've had some health problems and am now getting back on track. This has been hurried to get something out there, I will be coming back to edit so please bear with me. Also thank you to all who reviewed and read the prologue! Now on with the show.

**Disclaimer: **Just borrowing, One Tree Hill and it's characters belong to Mark Schwahn.

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><p><strong>Chapter One<br>**

Even though the wind was biting, she couldn't feel it. There was a numbness that just wouldn't go away. The world around her felt incomplete, it was wrong somehow. The life she was living would forever be unfinished, cut too short. Everything had changed in a single moment. One drunk driver and a few seconds was all it took. Only one person to destroy it all. One person to destroy a family.

_Why couldn't she find happiness?_

_Why was it always taken away?_

To experience any emotion other than sadness was becoming a driving need. Anger was supposed to come next; there was a process to these things after all. At least that's what she'd been told. Brooke remembered when Keith had died. How the grief had consumed the people she loved. How it had closed their hearts and their eyes. Was that happening to her? Would she end up pushing everyone away? Did she care?

"I thought I'd find you out here."

Brooke smiled slightly, think of them and they shall appear. Well, one of them anyway. It was painful to realise that the people she thought were friends…._really weren't. _

Karen settled down next to Brooke, a sadness filling her heart as she watched the woman who in many ways she considered a daughter, long before her own daughter had come along. Brooke Davis had always had spirit, so much so that she reminded Karen of herself when she was younger. And that was why it hurt Karen to see Brooke so defeated. So solitary.

"They sent you to find me, huh?"

Taking the other woman's hand Karen chuckled. Brooke maybe numb to the goings on around her but she was far from oblivious. "Haley might of."

"Sounds like tutor wife."

"They're just worried about you. We all are."

Nodding her head Brooke said nothing. Words had failed her lately. So much had been stripped away. Nothing made sense anymore. The pain she felt couldn't be measured or talked away. It was just there, a constant stinging where her heart was.

"Your boys are beautiful, Brooke."

If there was anything that could pull Brooke out of her thoughts it was Davis and Jude. They were all that mattered now. Her precious boys who were so much like their father. They were having trouble understanding why he wasn't around. Why he wasn't there to read them their bedtime story and tuck them into bed. They were too young to lose their father, and yet they had lost him anyway.

Brooke blinked away the tears that were forming.

She wouldn't cry. She couldn't cry.

_God she missed him._

"Yeah they are," she choked out. "I've been such a terrible mother, Karen. I haven't been there for them like I should have."

Sweeping the younger woman into a hug, Karen couldn't help but feel the same helplessness she felt when Keith died. The world was a cruel place and too often, it took things that shouldn't be taken. However, Brooke wasn't alone, the numerous people inside Haley and Nathan's house right now attested to that. These thoughts only spurred Karen's mind to stray to her own son. A man she had always been so proud of. Which made the disappointment in his choices today hard to understand.

"There's no time limit on grief, Brooke. The truth of the matter is you're always going to miss him."

Brooke sniffed, a small smile turning her lips. "Tell it like it is, Karen."

"Oh, Brooke, I'm not saying this to be unkind. I'm saying this because you need to hear it."

Wiping her eyes Brooke's arms fell away from the woman who had always offered comfort when needed. In many ways, Karen was the type of mother Brooke aspired to be. The older woman had a way about her that made you sit up and take notice, and it had been that way ever since Brooke had known her.

Karen playfully nudged the brunette beside her. "But know something else….."

Hazel eyes skimmed up to see a small smile on the older woman's face.

"You've still got the best part of him right here, in two beautiful boys who adore you."

A pitiful laugh escaped past Brooke's lips before she could stop the traitorous sound.

"I can't be a single mother, Karen."

Sadness was all Karen could feel in that moment. It was hard to continue the encouraging words she still had left to impart. The trouble with hope was that sometimes you lost it, no matter how positive a person you were. And Brooke Baker nee Davis was one of the most positive people Karen knew. "You managed before, with Angie and Sam," she managed to say, her hand seeking out Brooke's once more.

"I didn't know what I was missing then." Brooke croaked out, her voice finally breaking. The statement was true. All Brooke had felt back then was a strong urge to be a mother. To have someone to love unconditionally. In time she'd managed to share that dream with the man she loved, it was better than anything she'd imagined while living in New York.

Karen sighed as Brooke started to crumble before her. "Oh, Brooke."

Brooke Baker finally felt her tears start to fall. "I miss him so much."

Squeezing her hand all Karen could do was let the brunette know she was there. All she could do was watch the grief that had once been her own, and Karen knew, she knew that Brooke was going to feel a whole lot worse before she felt better.

"I know, sweetie."

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><p>"They're not even here, Haley!"<p>

Glaring at Nathan Haley slammed the plates down, ignoring the various voices that were filtering in from the living room. She didn't need this right now; she didn't want to hear the truth in his words. God knows Brooke didn't need to hear this….or Jamie. The day had been hard, harder than she expected. It appeared the strain had caught up with everyone.

"Don't start." It was a warning; one Nathan should have listened to. But his anger over the situation had reached its breaking point. He was pissed off and tired of hiding it.

"After everything she's done for them in the past."

Haley bit back the urge to defend them. To come to their aid like she'd done so many times this past week, but even her will was running out of excuses. Her mind stumbled around the facts. Karen was here, along with Andy and Lily. There were no excuses. None that made any sense at least.

"I know."

"Where are they?" Nathan demanded.

Closing her eyes Haley gave the only answer she could. "I don't know."

"I'll tell you where they are. They are too wrapped up in their own, petty problems that they can't think about anyone but themselves. Not even their friend who's just become a widow."

Her eyes snapped open, but Nathan was already stalking out off the kitchen. The front door slamming in his wake a few moments later. In the silence all Haley could hear was the buzzing of her own thoughts.

God, how did it get to this? Just last week they had all been happy. She and Brooke had been planning on their families vacationing together for Christ sakes! Where does that go? How can it disappear so quickly?

What had happened to the two people who had once been so central to their little group? Haley couldn't fool herself any longer; she knew that when Lucas and Peyton had left Tree Hill they had essentially broken away from everything and everyone. The ties that had once been so strong had only corroded over time. It hurt, it hurt like nothing else.

_When did her friendship with Lucas become something of the past? _

There were only memories to look fondly back on now. Over the years, she'd lost a friendship that had once been a constant in her life. It had started out Haley and Lucas against the world; it was the two of them before it was ever anyone else. When did that friendship get so lost? And how had she and Lucas let it happen?

Shaking herself out of depressing thoughts Haley picked up the platter of sandwiches she'd originally come for, and made her way back into the living room. In a moment of reflection, she took note of the people who _were_ there. Mouth and Millicent were sitting on the couch with Jamie, watching as her son flipped through a thick photo album. Haley sadly recognised that it was the one filled with shots of Brooke and Julian's wedding day and then later the twins' baby pictures. Eyes wandering she saw Quinn and Clay playing with Davis and Jude, the twins faces smiling despite the unsmiling people around them. They were too young to understand that their father was gone and wouldn't be coming back. Deb was holding a cranky Lydia while talking to Skills and Chase. Alex was speaking to an unusually quiet Victoria Davis, the woman had turned up to support her only daughter, lending it surprisingly to Julian's father as well. Mia was talking to a person who had shocked everyone by turning up; Rachel had arrived just before the funeral had started. Brooke being Brooke hadn't questioned it, which was enough for everyone else.

Looking around Haley realised that in a funny way, these people were all her family, well all except for Rachel. It gave her a tiny bit of hope that everything would turn out okay in the end. That this strange, unconventional family would get Brooke through this.

Unbeknownst to Haley the phone started to ring in the hallway, switching right over to the answering machine when no one in the Scott household picked up.

Nathan's recorded voice crackled over the line.

We obviously can't take your call, so leave a message for whichever Scott you want.

"_Nathan? Hales? I don't know if you're not picking up because you're busy or because you're mad at me. I guess it's the latter….." There was a bitter laugh before a slight pause. "You should be angry at me, hell, I'm angry at myself. I wanted to let you know I'm coming home, I'm at the airport right now actually." The line went quiet before a breath was exhaled. "It's just me. Anyway, I'll see you all soon. And tell Brooke…." Another pause. "Tell Brooke that I'm sorry." _

After that, there was just a simple dial tone, and then the sound of the front door opening as Nathan stepped through.


End file.
